Saturday, March 5, 2011

Cuts are out (from September 4, 2009)

Dear Mr. Hewlitt,

Today was a real tough day. Coach called me into his office and told me that I was a great kid, a hard worker and since I'm from Salineville, I was a local hero. But, then he asked me to turn in my playbook. So, I took the one page they gave me with a picture of me and an arrow to the Quarterback and gave it to him. I spent hours studying that-and Bambi really helped me with it. Coach said that since Cleveland has got a lot of liberal fans, they can only have so many Irish guys on the team. And he said that it wouldnt be fair to cut Brady Quinn because he has memorized 3 whole pages of the playbook.

Now I'm waiting to find out if I can be on the practice squad. All they have to do is be blocking and tackling dummies for the real players. Heck, the way these guys hit, its like stealing money. And the salary for practice guys is even more than they paid me at Noter Dame. I'm hopin it works out cause Bambi just took a job at Hooters in Warren and I would really like to court and spark her some more. Hope all this was too technical for you, Coach says that you are a real neat guy but you don't get football too well.
 
Your friend
 
Sean O'Grady

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